The Art of Being Dorian

Well I am back, after a long delay. Work has finally enveloped my entire life. There are only work, and rest cycles. The slow, dive into the abyss of automaton (drone) life continues. Everyday, I seem to care less and less about my fate. So gradual… I feel oblivious to everything. I loathe this feeling.

I have not written a blog in a while. Most of my friends are out working, moving, on vacation… so no one really has any real time for me. Except Dima, but he is moving… so the weekly walks might also become rarer. Now none of my friends will be living anywhere near me. This is most distressing and upsetting. My only saving grace is the slow process of writing of story. And I mean slow.

I plan to get my other previous non-posted blogs up soon. Maybe very soon.

Well hell did come to tea today. I was so tired at work that it was ridiculous. Tired like a dog. Fortunately I got to work on a good machine and a slow product. Managed to survive, barely. Almost finished with my backlog of blogs. Yay! Couldn’t find my glasses so I had to use some older ones. Ouch!

Got back home and crashed into bed. I later got up just to make food.

Got up and hit the ground running. Again. This time thanks to my lovely younger brother and way of staying up late. Had to help (read as: do for) him with a science project which he had due today, and six months to do but started a week ago with the only real progress two days ago. Needless to say I had to perform a minor miracle. And even had time to compose two ‘songs’ yesterday.

So work started off slow and tired. Fortunately that wore off later on with the help of a coffee and two cokes. Still its a pain. Anyhow I survived without too trouble.

To my complete and total surprise when I returned from work; I found a large group of people outside my house on or near my front porch. They turned out to be the family of my Mom’s friend, Mrs. Jakie Rollo’s friends. They were from Massachusetts and were involved with (St.) Michaels society. Anyhow they stayed at my house for awhile, invited me to a barbecue at Mrs. Rollo’s house (yummy salmon) and chatted about religion, economy, social credit, cars, aircraft simulators, & the rest of the universe. Interesting folks.

Went home and got to sleep late. Again. Tomorrow hell will come..

Another day at work. Sweat. Tiring work. Exhaustion. My only relief are the paycheck and that my normally temperamental machine functioned well, nay, flawlessly. Almost no sleep takes its toll. Damn hot humid weather.

Met a few new students… actually, they attended the same high school as me. Managed to talk to Kat from work. She seems nice enough… but I am not in the mood. Not interested in girls nowadays… nope… I think I’ll bury myself in my personal projects for awhile.

Started reading Creation Rediscovered, after a long hiatus. Figured might as well let God into my life. Can’t hurt. Might as well give Him a chance.

Great news! Finally paid off my university debt. Now I owe no one (except OSAP) anything. Have to save up for next year…

My 22nd birthday is coming up. I feel old and worn. Nothing cheers me up anymore… sigh…

Going to sleep in the basement now… maybe I will get some rest tonight. So tired.

Note: No luck. Prefer a soft bed with a soft, ambient light in warm room to a hard cot in the middle of a cool, dark basement.

There you go! Four hours of sleep, two upgrades and one assignment (Martin’s french work) later… and I am at work. Today I upgraded both Acrobat for Palm OS and Documents to Go which made the files on the expansion card visible again. Had to register and re-register to get the update… bummer.

My headphones are dead so no music. Good news is that I owe university only $100. Still I have so little on my account and need to pay my Dad for the SD card.

I might catch up on some earlier blogs l missed. However I am too tired at the moment. Night all.

Well I am up for another gorgeous work night. Was so humid and warm today that I could only sleep for 5 hours today. Parents and brother have gone today to one of my brother’s folk dance performances, so the house is quiet today. Doesn’t even feel like a weekend day. The highlight of today was an episode of Stargate. Not a very exciting one mind you… Lets hope this night will be a short one.

Anyhow I will get to work on my novel writing.

Sigh… another work night. Nothing much happened other than me packing for work and parents bickering at each other again. Updated the Palm using Neophyte. The Documents 2 Go application is still screwing up. Got to work on T-13 tonight which promptly went self-aware. The rest of the night should be interesting.

I think I will name my PDA, ONS Persistence.

Well I am back… Sorry for the absence, just that things have been abit hectic recently. Life is returning to normality as I get settled into my work schedule. Most of the time I am either plagued by sheer exhaustion or scrambling for time. This adjustment along with the slow, sinking realization of who I am and what I want to be. Everything is slowly snapping into place, painfully. Including my relationship with Kat. I just have to adjust to this slow, excruciating ballet. Make that a ballet on razor sharp needles in a heavy rainstorm.

Anyway, I am holding myself pretty well. I wish I could say the same with my Palm. Apparently Documents to Go refuses to see my work on the expansion card. *chuckles* My Palm causes a bit of discussion at work. People think I use it for gaming… I tried once unsuccessfully emulating SNES and GB games. I guess I have to write up some of my own.

Got up late but I hit the ground running so to speak. Did laundry, lunch and dinner. Also I managed to update Neophyte (my family’s main computer) at the cost of not doing gardening. Mom was naturally thrilled… Anyways tonight is the beginning of this month’s Nocturnal Trio of Hell. Wonder if I will survive Sunday night.

Well, so it has begun. Shift work. Not very impressed but a bit more enthusiastic then last year. Actually I feel a bit tired now but was because of the day being busy.

So lets recount what I have done. Washed some dishes, vacuumed the house, mopped the kitchen and bathroom, and placed the garbage and recycling on the curb. Right after breakfast (which I had made) I adorned the kitchen table with some freshly cut tulips from the garden.

By that time it was 13:00 and I felt worn out already. But I persevered and made lunch, a herbal hand-soak for Mom and printed out the legal statement (which I had finally completed a while ago). To top it all I hung out the laundry.

A mad scramble to get ready for work ensued. I just managed to be there on time. And more or less ready. Now that I am here, I have to undergo a bit of training for the new safety procedures that have been put into place recently. Yay… So exciting.

The only highlight of the day is meeting nice girl at work today. And guess what her name is Katherine. Don’t worry Katerina, your still the most important for me. And I really do miss you.

So tired… got only 4.5 hours of sleep today. My eyes are really in pain, and the rest of me wants sleep badly.

Got up at an ungodly 5:30 (after hitting the sack at ~1:15). Tired like hell… swear I could count the number of times my neurons synapsed. It felt like walking in a watery dream… even the air is as thick as water.

Anyhow… managed to get to work on time with my Dad. Had a “safety” workshop, training, whatever. Boring stuff. Had to fill out multiple quizzes, and things… before it was just look at a few irritating videos. Today they had the works. The government must of given them hell for that nasty pinching accident that happened a few months ago. So now the HR folks tortured us with the all things… mind never mentioning revalant details… only generalized guidelines. Sad. Very sad.

Became bitter after finding out that the job I might of had there was gone because of management’s incompetence. I would love to say what I feel about the person responsible… but that would be simply a string of 16-25 nasty words strung together. Let your imagination run wild. Still I am disappointed that a desk job with maintenance could of been mine, instead of running like a dog in production. Want to cry. Another hell of a summer. Only this time I have to make sure Mother and my brother are taken care of ahead of time. If I don’t snap half way through… I will end up turning into an emotionless machine. Great, dehumanization. Lovely. Can hardly wait. The only problem is sentience… otherwise I would make the perfect Atari powered drone.

To top it all off I got lost on my way back home. Wasted money on multiple bus fares, taking scenic routes, and time waiting for something to happen. Mind you Pearson International Airport is lovely this time of year. Except when you are going around in circles. But circles are lovely too. (Side note: amazing how many Arabic women work in airport security… no comment just observation). By the time I reached familiar territory I was tired. My neural activity simply plummeted… feeling like undead… can’t die, can’t live.

That part of the day is over… actually I will call that a day. I will pretend that the rest of the day is another new day. Lets see how that turns out.