Just Another Sigh

I was going to blog something cool but today I’m drawing a blank.  I could review my new nifty toy: a Nokia 5800 cellphone.  But other people did so already, and got paid for it.  I don’t feel like writing a review for free today.  It works well as both a cellphone and portable media device.  Enough said.  But it can’t replace the utility of my Internet Tablet, which is somewhere out there.

I like technology.  But technology acts as a poor substitute for a living person.  I miss talking with S., and wish I could be there for her this Friday.  But I can’t.  I learned many things from talking with her, especially about myself and about her.  I miss S.  I want to thank all my friends who came out to support me.  It was my fault but I try not dwell on it though.  I have to move on and not live in the past.  But I would lie if I didn’t say this: I miss you S.

I wanted to write something else.  Something interesting.  But everything else feels irrelevant at the moment.  My life has snapped back into a past state, but with more experience.  I look forward to picking up tae kwon do.  Also I have more time for my pet projects now.  I feel liberated with the additional time.  Today, this is just a Pyrrhic victory.  As I look at the burning ruins and destruction, I see no glory, no victory.  Just bitterness, regret and dead silence.  In time this to will change.  Just as new forests grow from the ashes of old, so will all of this.  The only internal difference between the beginning of the winter and now, is that I know what I must do to go forward.  And this I know with clarity.  And I go forward to this better future.