Before I Lay Down My Pen and My Head

Things are going fairly smoothly for the trip.  Not yet at the point at where I can say I’m packed and ready.  And there remains a good chunk of work to do.  However plans are proceeding forward.

While I look forward to my trip, lately I’ve felt like my self-esteem has taken quite a beating.  I don’t know if this signals a slow but steady burnout.  Or rather realization and acceptance of my current position and circumstances in life.  I’m a bit disappointed.  I still feel I’m far from where I want to be in the near future.  And reality seems to close more doors than open them.  If some potential opportunity opens, it feels more like a tease than an opportunity.  Realistically, I feel I’ve exhausted all the straightforward options without compromising or risking my future on some future high-risk scheme.  This realization is quite unnerving.  I’m not sure what else I can do, aside from doing what I already am.  I’ve never enjoyed the prospect of casting the dice and hoping for the best.  This is fine in a game.  In life not so much, since for action there are far reaching consequences.  In life, a sane logical strategy needs to be in place.  Still I can’t see how I can achieve my end-goals, circumstances being as they are.  I find solace in my writing, and little else.

I’m still going to blog on highly irregular basis, definitely until after my trip.  Or most likely after I finish writing the rough draft of the novel.  My novel feels like the only meaningful contribution I can make at the moment.  Everything else depends on external factors, beyond my control.

Offline for a Bit

Well folks, it looks like I’ll be  mostly offline for the next couple of weeks.  It is a fairly busy time at work, and with my upcoming trip to Europe, I just don’t have time to blog.  I might blog when I get there, but we’ll see how things go… Anyways take care for now. Updates for 2009-08-13

  • Gonna take another whack at dev work… Hoping more progress this time around. #
  • Hmm… feeling productive again. Just need to do a few more things today and I’ll be quite satisfied. #
  • A bit more correspondences and write-ups before I can take a wack at creating a !drupal theme for justCheckers. #

Powered by modified Twitter Tools. Updates for 2009-08-12

  • Going to try using !ubuntu as a sandboxed dev system. It would be awesome to integrate into my development process. #
  • It burns!!! I’m not sure why but that last e-mail feels like it was lined with exasperation and a plasma charge. Ouch. #
  • If there were no bugs in software, all of us programmers would be out selling friendship bracelets instead. Think about the programmers!!! #

Powered by modified Twitter Tools. Updates for 2009-08-10

  • Excellent! All relevant things done, now on to some writing and hacking. I’m on a roll today. #
  • Please ask me about how I feel about denormalized generic data models. Remember to be wearing an asbestos suit when doing so. #
  • Alright! Onto dinner and some dealing with some physical world problems. Junglishly hot today. #

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Writing Progress Update for Monday

Last week I realized the reason why I kept on losing my writing work.  I’m a big fan of running libre software on my desktop.  While I can’t do so comfortably at work, but at home I run Linux desktop exclusively.  (Except to play the occasional Windows-only video game.)  So I use OpenOffice for my word processing and hence writing.  And I’m a big fan of using Open Document Formats.  However working on ODTs (essentially ZIP archives with ODF XML files inside) from a USB flash drive is not the way to go.  I guess the amount of saving and writing to disk, doesn’t help with prolonging the life of the flash memory.  So I had to change my workflow to use Dropbox instead.  I don’t want to wrangle with corrupt ODT files.  To make a long story short, I had to do some lengthy rewrites which didn’t help with moving forward in my novel.  However that has all been resolved, and I can say that I’m making good progress on the first chapter. Updates for 2009-08-07

  • Awake finally. #
  • Managing multiple profiles on different websites is a bit of a pain. Still they are mighty convenient at times. #
  • Excellent, refactored my code. Now on to doing the same thing, except modifying the data! I wish there was a client for S60… #
  • Done and done. Work week over, the homework week begins. 😀 #

Powered by modified Twitter Tools. Updates for 2009-08-06

  • Hmm… I guess I’ll stick around for a bit. I think I prefer microblogging to updating my Facebook status anyways. #
  • Woe is he, who must use Oracle and JDBC. #
  • Before ye cry, to the dba do fly, and get ye some grant access! #
  • Refactor time! Home time! Packaging time! #

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