I wanted to write and post the second part yesterday. But having scraped my fingers whilst gardening, any finger intensive activity like blogging or gaming had to be postponed. Now my fingers seem better, so I will continue where I left off…

(Monday) …having arrived late into the night from Niagara Falls, I was not too keen on waking up in the morning. When I did, I realized I missed out on a full day of work. Actually, I pondered whether or not yesterday’s trip was not a waste of time. Not that I did not enjoy the company. But I think everyone going hiking would of been more fun. Then again I am not sure Rob, Tangay or Echo would of enjoyed hiking. But I could of done so much work… As you can tell, I am a bit of a workaholic, and think about doing something productive even on a national holiday. Its sad, I know.

After some progress in landscaping our frontyard, I hoped to catch up on some old work for a client. However, my client told me that the project I was supposed to work on finished already. And so thanks to my inconsistency and overambition, I did not uphold my end of the bargain. And I got rightfully burned. I was overambitious while still in university, and took up a job I could not finish. Now I am no longer certain of my abilities. I hoped that at least that I could get ahead in my professional life. But I failed. The rest of the day, I devoted on chores to ignore this haunting thought.

(Tuesday-Thursday) Everyday started like many others. Chores, gardening, a lot of ego-surfing and more gardening. Oh and I kept on busting my fingers. Not because I do self-masochism. I am just clumsy, and too unhappy to be more cautious. I read some more of McKenzie Wark’s Gamer Theory. On the subject of games, I should be resurrecting the justCheckers project. This means I should invite the developers back into active coding again. But considering what happened recently, I worry if I can truly lead the project still. Tomorrow I will see if I can work up the courage to continue to the next step. Much like the lyrics in Rachel Loy‘s Big Sky song: My life’s not over, just twisted out of place.