I just read Marika’s blog on hunger. And I felt compelled to blog something in return. But today I draw a blank. Yesterday drained the life and will out of me. Not complaining, since it was all my invention and doing. Still the fact remains, I feel drained and without will. And life feels greyer than it did before.
Today will be another cold snowy day. Spring came by smiled and then winter came back with a vengence. My limbs are still cold from standing outside for the bus. I can now appreciate those early morning commutes, in a warm car. Yes I got into the office really early. But I miss the car now, and I didn’t appreciate it when it is no longer there.
Funny how people (at least I think) don’t notice those good things and good people, until you sense their absence. We miss the light when it is dark. The warm when it is cold. Food when hunger strikes. A comforting voice when there is none. Yet when all is well, one can take things for granted. Obviously not all people think like that, some are enlightened enough to know and not have to experience.
I should get back to bed and pretend to sleep. After my pretend sleep, I will pretend to get up and live as a normal person. You know the routine, get up, eat breakfast, wash up, dress, commute to work, work, return home, rest or work at home, sleep. I’ll pretend to smile and be happy. For the sake of the illusion of normality. No one really like things out of the ordinary. No wants to deal with the uncomfortable and inconvenient. So one pretends it is not there. If you are talented, you can pretend that you are alive and awake. But you are just sleepwalking.
Today is an exercise in futility. Just another sleepwalking existence, followed by bouts of regret and insomnia.
[This post is modern art in writing form. It was not supposed to make sense.]