It seems that coffee has failed to awaken my drowsy brain. So apologies to my readers if this blog comes out lopsided. I’ve come to a number of realizations after a long evening conversation with a very good friend of mine. Hence the need for copious amounts of coffee. And the ever present drowsiness. Also this post may come off as a jumbled stream of consciousness. My neurons aren’t synapsing in sync today…
Recently, I’ve posted quite a lot in the form of micro-blogs or ‘dents as all the crazy identi.ca kids call them. This is a fun but honestly distracting diversion. So I’m going to give identi.ca a rest for a bit. Same goes with daily blogging in any form. I will post things of interests and tidbits on this blog once in a while. And once in a while, when inspiration hits me I post an actual blog entry. But I won’t rack my brains to post a daily update. This is not because nothing interesting goes on in my life. Rather much of what goes on must remain in the privacy that is afford only to close friends and clients. Also many things only make sense in a context, that must be experienced rather than described. Finally, my interest currently lies with my projects and my writing. And I want to concentrate on those things first and foremost. I’ll still take up the challenge offered by Ryan, one of my former classmates. I’ll post a new status update on Facebook for each day of 2010. It’ll be mostly cryptic passages, but there will be one per day.
Another realization is that how futile it is to emulate things and joys of old. There somethings that can be moved forward with time. Some things just don’t. It seems that long philosophical wanderings, while fun and enjoyable are not something I’ll be able to keep. I’ll do it on occasion. But honestly, I realize that as asinine as this sounds: I know what I already need to know about many of the big things. And many times I find myself trying to change things that are beyond my means. Or at least arguing the case for said change. Most of the important questions can be boiled down to a simple individual questions. And those questions are relatively easy to answer with a combination of faith, logic and experience. Everything else is honestly just “frosting”. And that frosting just detracts from the important stuff many times. (I’ve started rambling haven’t I?)
Another realization is that there are many important changes I want to happen in my life. And these will take time and effort. And concentration. So I’m putting aside all the little distractions and trying to concentrate on the important things. It is a bit scary when it feels like many of your friends seem more like adults than yourself. I know that everyone feels this from time to time. I have no qualms saying that I’m not a special unique butterfly with experiences unshared by anyone else. Still it is an unnerving thought that one is not living up to one’s full potential. And that your close friends are. It is time to catch up.
In conclusion, so I can finish this… (If you ever wondered what the wandering mind of an author looks like first thing in the morning. ) I’m taking a hiatus on my distractions. I’m sorry that I can’t manage to post daily updates. I’ll try to see what I can do. But honestly, in the bigger scheme of things, my daily blog ponderings and activities are not all that important. And I need to concentrate on the important things. Once things fall into place, I’ll probably return to something more regular.
Time for the third cup of coffee.