Monthly Archives: May 2009

Back in Toronto, Back to Blogging

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Yesterday I landed in Toronto.  I’m home again.  Back to the normal and ordinary.  But even as the airplane hit the tarmack, I knew things will never be quite the same.  The things I experienced, saw, heard and understood during my short stay in Europe, has changed my perspective, attitude and expectations.   I won’t go into the details, because there are far too many.  And far too many of them are deeply personal.  But I’m glad that I went there, and I gained a lot.  I’m still processing and digesting everything still.

With that said, I will return to my daily blogging schedule.  I hope that no new tragedy, will force me to change my daily routine.  Because there is comfort in a routine, no matter how mundane and un-extraordinary it may be.  However I realize now more than ever, I have to move forward on my personal goals.  I feel a bit behind in some areas of my life.  I have a huge amount of work to do.  And at the moment, there is a lot of catching up I need to do.  Life will continue its intense pace for next little while.  This year shows no signs of slowing down, but rather accelerating.  It feels exhilarating and downright frightening.

I’m still mentally organizing my thoughts and goals.  However a few things have come to the forefront.  I need to learn some more French, German, Italian and Polish.  I need to brush up and learn those languages, since they will come in very handy when I try to stay in touch with my friends and family in Europe.  Also I need to learn to drive.  I must follow through on my professional and artistic goals.  A number of my friends are expecting and excited to see the results of my efforts.  I also need to learn to deal with difficult and tricky situations in a more professional, efficient, pragmatic, diplomatic and proper manner.  And then there are all things, minutae and nice-to-haves…  Thinking about all of this is tiring me out.  So I’ll stop with it here.

I’m also planning to return to Europe, most likely sometime this year.  And this may be sooner than later.  So more planning, thinking, et cetera.

Anyways, I’m back!  Did you miss me?

Parting with the Somber

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I changed the theme for the blog again.  Back to the nice calm, natural feel that I so very much enjoy.  Also I am parting from the somber mood.  Maybe this is a bit premature.  Maybe not.  But I can’t help it… I want to bounce back to my cheery, crazy self again.  Maybe I should be less moody.  Or maybe I should just accept my nature for what it is.

Anyways, just a few more days before I go back to my normal routines.  Back to my life in Toronto, my friends there, and the monotony.  Boring can be fun too… so long as it is not overdone.  I’ll miss my friends and family here too.  But I’ll be back sometime in the future.  For some reason I always gravitate back here again.  This trip taught me a lot about myself, my place and everything in general.  As with any search for knowledge, it creates more questions and concerns than before.  But knowledge gives serenity, as it explains the uncertain and pushes back the unknowable a bit more.

I’ve done some writing.  I hope to have more to share in the future.  But if I want to keep this post short and not rambling.  Then I really, really should, just stop right here.

Port City Update

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Hmm… I debated about writing while on “vacation”.  But since I’ve done so much writing today, I felt it might be appropriate to update my blog.

I’m staying with family, in my city of birth.  I’m here on brieviment, so not exactly a fun time.  After the funeral, I might see some friends of the family.  Nothing very exciting, but a rather busy time.  Today is essentially the calm before the storm.  No plans for visiting or sightseeing, as much as I would love to see people outside of my immediate family and friends of immediate family.  Most young people are busy at work or finishing their studies for the year.

Today however, I have some time for writing.  Or rather in any spare moment I find I’m either writing or reading about writing.  I can’t stand idle time and it seems so appropriate to bury myself in work.

Still I love being here, unfortunate as the circumstances are.  The city is dirty, grimmy and full of hazards that one doesn’t meet in a safe city like Toronto.  But there is also energy and enthausism in strange places.  Expectations of what is normal are radically different.  And for some reason, for all the negativity and defeatism that I can feel, there is a vibrance, a feeling of confined growth.
Or maybe it is just me.  Maybe it is just my romantic attachment to my place of birth.  Maybe I’m just a port town boy, in love with a port city.  Even if the port is no longer close to its former glory.