Worn Out

Not much to update today.  Yesterday wore me out emotionally.  (Gasp!  He still has feelings!  Oh no!)  So I didn’t get much done.  Today I’m half-tired and half-motivated.  The motivation is really for all the wrong reasons.  I just want to prove to the majority of people how wrong they are about me.  And rub it in their face.  Hard.

Anyways, nothing much going on.  It sucks when reality whispers in your ear, “Nothing has changed.”  Even when you hoped it did.  I’m not sure whether to try harder.  Or just stop caring.  Either way… just another day.

Forced Update

Ugh…  I feel so tired this early in the morning.  Normally I enjoy mornings.  My best thinking happens in the morning.  Today I feel comatose.  So Marika, if you think that you are the only one whose brain goes on vacation for the weekend… guess again.  This new entry probably comes off as forced.  But I’m willing to suffer for my art. 🙂

Friday’s Latin Mass was pretty fun.  Pretty confusing, and I got lost after the first few moments.  I’m a bit disappointed in what was supposed to be the introduction to the mass.  It came off as “Most of you never experienced a Latin Mass.  And since the Pope is talking about it…  Well then here, enjoy!  And lets discuss afterwards!”.  Clearly a very informative introduction.  I hoping this leaving people in the dark, was mostly a sign of incompetence and not maliace.  I’m not complaining about the people helping to organize the mass.  Many of my friends and acquaintances took part in getting this mass off the ground.  But I’m not sure what kind of meaningful discussion can one have after sitting blankly, trying to follow along.  And the people who are familiar with Latin masses already have an opinion, so why even bother mentioning a discussion in that case?  Still I found it worthwhile to attend that mass, and I enjoyed meeting up and talking with friends afterwards.

The rest of the weekend went by in a “meh” sort of way.  Mostly work at home.

No real work on my writing.  Other than the realization, that I could recycle ideas from a previous attempt at a novel.  This will change the plot of the novel a bit, but not the general theme.  And the older work, which was supposed to consist of short stories in a larger overarching story will work well for this novel.  In fact you can say this novel will be the distilled ideas that I’ve toyed with for over 5 years.  I’m hoping the final product will turn out as amazing.

Also my Internet Tablet officially died this weekend.  So sad.  Glad it is still under warranty.  I miss that gadget already, it proved quite useful and usable.  I managed to extract all the information I needed from the device.  I’ll call Nokia for support sometime today.

Also disassembled two laptops yesterday.  And assembled my old one back again.  Interesting how the design of different machines is similar but with enough difference that components aren’t easily replaceable from one machine to the other.

A Time for Silence

We live in a busy, bustling and noisy world.  Ever since the industrial revolution and the explosion of commerce and industry, we have learned to make more and more noise.  To the point, we get uncomfortable as my friend Marika pointed out.  We get so used to the background chatter and noise, that when it disappears we feel lost.  But should we?

Silence when not permanent, is as need as the darkness at night.  At night we need to relax.  We need the lack of visual stimuli (in the form of the lack of light) to properly function. Our eyes relax, recalibrate themselves.  Our brains go into organization mode and sort out the events of our day.  Silence lets us to look into ourselves and shut away the noise in our life.  Should one fear silence like one fears the absence of light, when all you need to do is speak or flick a switch to bring back sound or light?  Silence can be oppressive and harsh.  Sitting in a room with a stranger can be hard.  Your mind tries to figure the stranger’s thoughts and intentions.  Sitting in a room with a friend, who you deeply trust is different.  In this case, you share a delicate, intimate and vulnerable moment of introspection where you both trust each other enough to let your guard down.

Learning to accept and embrace silence is difficult.  I learned to start to accept silence two years ago I went on a Taize retreat in Montreal.  I remember sitting on the floor of an ancient-looking church.  All around me hundreds of other people sat around me.  Between each hymn we sung, we sat in silence.  People, strangers from different Christian denominations all sitting in silence in a church.  At first the moments of silence felt oppressive, alien, cold and unwelcoming.  But after each hymn belted out at the top of our lungs, the silence become welcome.  Silence became a  time of peace, relaxation and reflection upon the reason on why we had all gathered here.  We came together to be friends and neighbours.  And to come a step closer to be closer to God.  Ever since I tried to set aside a time for silence, for prayer and for reflection.  It is still something I struggle and wrestle with.

Today, I’ll be going to a Latin Tridentine mass held at the Newman Centre at Uof T.  From what I’ve been told the experience of attending such a mass is very uplifting.  One reasons why are the moments of total silence and solemnity in it.

Dinner at Prince

Tonight I met up with one of my friends from my professional writing course, Andrei.  Since I could meet him in the early evening, that meant I could get some extra sleep and start work later.  Extra sleep is always a welcome change in my schedule.  Commuting to work by bus not so much.  Work turned out busy as usual with training and work on particularly sticky issue (read issue as a bug, enhancement, change request or combination of the former).

Meeting up with Andrei is always a pleasure.  We ate dinner at Prince, the Japanese eatry near work.  I highly recommend that place if you are up for some Japanese food.  We talked a lot about writing, university, the economy (everyone and his pet dog’s obsessively favourite topic it seems nowadays) and philosophy in general.  I even got into a rant about why technologies such as Linux, KDE 4 and Maemo excite me.  Hehehe… I had a lot of fun.

Interestingly it seems that nowadays my weeks are jam packed with meeting interesting people and having fun in general.  I don’t know if it just a bit coincidental luck.  Or is it because I’ve tried to take a more positive and active approach to life.  Or is it a combination of both?  I wonder…

Spring Weather Motivation

I am enjoying the spring-like weather of the past few days.  After the harsh cold of winter, sun and warmer air are weclome reliefs.  I get to spend more time outside.  Not as much as I’d like to, but still.  The weather not only motivates me to exercise more.  I started yesterday with a short inline skating run.  The weather also motivates me to work on my personal projects.

Please excuse the recent short posts.  I am suffering from a kind of blogger’s block.  While many interesting and wonderful changes are happening in my life, I can not openly discuss them.  At least not yet for various reasons.  I am hoping I can discuss things more in the next few weeks.  And I am too busy to write any articles for now.

At the moment, I am working on a number of different things.  The justCheckers project needs a temporary website.  I barely scratched the surface of that task.  Also I am still writing my novel, with fairly slow progress.  I have a good idea of the plot and characters already.  All I need to do is to crank out the chapters.  Everything else I’m keeping under wraps until I am ready to announce any real news.

I want to wish everyone a Happy St. Patrick’s day.  I guess today everyone gets to celebrate their Irishness or their desire to be so. 🙂  Cheers!

A Weekend Out About Town

Wow, what an awesome weekend.  I spent a good chunk of time meeting up with friends and hitting Toronto.  Sunday was especially fun.  I guess all it takes is a bit of warmer weather and a friend, and then you can walk around, talk, have fun and let time slip by.  I honestly didn’t think that walking around Toronto would of been so much fun.  I have to do that again sometime.

Moving Forward Again

The plugin seems to have stemmed the tide of spam.  I’m quite happy in not receiving tons of e-mails daily dealing with spam comments.  I’d love to get more comments from real life users.  But I guess I need to write something rant worthy or brilliant.  Either way, no spam is good.

I’m still catching up with all the work I left undone due to my illness.  For one I need to setup a few sites for my new project in gestation.  Also I need to do quite a  bit of bookkeeping.  Not a huge fan of keeping records.  Much like anything else, I should do bookkeeping as it happens.  And I try.  However unlike task management, I have not found a nice, neat system that works well with me.  In addition to all these housekeeping work, I need to get moving on larger projects like: getting a car and learning to drive.  I should of done this last year honestly.  Oh well things are moving forward.  But so much needs to get done, and I have so little time.

Anyways, the next few days look busy.  So expect short blog posts and my being offline.  I just need to get things done.

Sick and Spammed

Excuse the interruption in my regular updates for the blog.  I was sick most of last week, and could not write anything past: Ugh, not feeling so well. 🙁

Today I am back, ready for whatever the week can throw at me.  And I plan on throwing a bunch of well-thought out and edited articles back at it!… Err… blog entries… and maybe not completely well-thought out and with a quick edit.  Come on folks, if I did writing as my job I’d crank out fine articles on gaming, free software, technology and life stuff on a regular basis.

Anyways, where was I?  Ah yes!  I plan on throwing a batch of blogs back at life.  Two things I wish life would not throw at me:  more sickness as I already have a decent collection of cold bugs.  Let someone else get the free virus/bacteria starter kits, and KEEP THEM AWAY FROM ME!  Also I could use less spam.  Two articles in particular receive a ridicilous amount of incoming comment spam.  And my poor blog notifies me by e-mail when someone tries to post a comment.  My IT (internet tablet) likes to make loud proclamations whenever I get an e-mail.  Nothing is worse than walking up to a dingy noise and flashy blue light, to moderate spam.  Nothing worse except that being sick and receiving over 10 of these suckers over the course of a weekend.  PLEASE STOP IT YOU EVIL SPAMMERS!  I am sure none of my readers are interested in a life time supply of viagra.  Nor is Google happy with your attempts at google bombing.  Just go away.  Please.

Anyways I wish everyone else a good and happy week!

A Change of Pace and Style

In the past I wrote almost exclusively about technology and gaming. The occasional happy accident in time management and organization popped up. In the past few weeks, I decided that such a scope of articles is limiting.

There is only so much one can write on such subjects, before one feels tempted to use other people’s ideas as one’s own. Also one feels tempted to speak on subjects that can get one in a lot of trouble. I’ve resisted such temptations. However I realized that I could not both resist these temptations and blog on a regular basis. At least not without expanding the scope of articles.

So nowadays, I plan on blogging all things that interest me. I’ll avoid the political, the personal and the confidential for all the obvious reasons. Everything else is fair game. This means some of my more technical readers will see a larger span between articles on computing. I apologize for that. But my life does not revolve around technology alone. Everyone else, please enjoy my inane commentaries, crazy thoughts and more artistic stories. 🙂

Defrosting from Montreal

This weekend was a fun one.  I got to see most of the tourist attractions in Montreal: the Olympic Stadium, Biodome, the Old Port, two of the larger churches and most of the museums.  I chose the wrong weather for sightseeing.  After a lot of walking in the rainy and then icy cold weather, basically I was cold for the entire weekend.  Still I have to thank Anna and Robert for letting me stay at their place and for showing me around.  It was a lot of fun and I plan to return to Montreal.  Only this time the weather will be warmer, and I’ll learn French.