Tag Archives: Writing

The Spring of Eternal Winter

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I lean my shovel, against the icy snow lining the bottom of my driveway. Exhaustion clouds my thoughts. At least I have defeated the mechanical monstrosity called the snowplough truck. This time maybe it will not come for a while.

I watch the dirty brown trickle of melt water, as it skirts the melting floes. The steady sound of the trickle falling down the rusty rainwater grate, calms my mind. The tired, muddy ice hides the silent arrival of long awaited friend. Only the trickle whispers in my ear, “Spring is coming.”

The world swirls around me. The mountain of ice shrinks before my eyes. The sound of bird fills the air. Spring. The icy citadels of Winter’s harsh rule shrink and dissipate into the warm air. Trees blossoms and grass grows and the sun melts the last of the snow. Spring. A time of a new beginning.

Only I stand shrouded in a icy sheath. My heart encased in my frozen body, shimmers slightly. The shimmer can not melt the icy sheath. Neither can the sun. Who will unable melt my being? When will my soul’s eternal winter end?

I turn away. The ice and snow returns. The slushy floes melt slowly. As I walk away, I hear the trickle of meltwater whisper in my ear, “Spring is coming.”

Originally posted: Saturday, March 3, 2007 @ 08:44

Author’s comments: Shoveling snow can really wind you. And then you get strange ideas… like this one I had. My deoxygenated brain seems to come with strange, colourful delusions. Now if only I could write properly when not under the influence of sleep deprivation, caffeine or excessive snow shoveling. This was the last post of the One-Time Trash Pad project.

Episode 2: In Search of Coffee

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*Yawn*

Olaf rubbed his eyes. He got out of bed, turned on the computer, and shuffled down the stairs to the kitchen. Must have coofffeeee… Olaf thought. Another late, late night kept awake by the thought of the end of the semester.

Coffee. He prepared the stove top espresso machine. His body went through the motions of the actions of opening up the machine. Dump the coffee grounds. Add some water in the bottom. Add new coffee. Olaf, eyes half-opened scanned the kitchen. Nothing on the countertop. Opening one cabinet, Olaf reached in to grab the coffe jar. His hand grabbed the air. He shuffled downstairs, into the basement. The same result. Olaf aggrivated and slightly more awake, walked back up to the kitchen. He then began a detailed cabinet to cabinet search.

Why, is the coffee always in the last place you look. Olaf sigh, and went back to his comatose state. Add new coffee. Set on stove. Wait. A few moments later, Olaf turned off the stove, steam whistling machine, and poured a bit of the thick, dark liquid into a small cup. He stirred in two teaspoons of sugar into the fresh espresso.

Nope. Drinking coffee not helping. He shuffled half-awake back upstairs. He sat down infront of the computer, and started his e-mail program. 12 Messages!!! Olaf snapped painfully into an awake state. 12 messages, and all about school work. Olaf started reading the litany of wishes and list of work in each of the e-mails.

Even Sunday feels like a Monday. Olaf sighed and braced for the onslaught of the day.

Originally posted: Sunday, December 3, 2006 @ 05:52

Author’s comment: Oh, those last days were hell for me. Nothing beats the hell out of me, like a stack of writing that needs to be done. And due dates… I like them. Especially, the sound of them whooshing by. And yes I am addicted to coffee. I later wrote about an interesting theory of the connection between the amount of caffeine in my body, and how smitten I would get. Interestingly, this story describes how I start my days. Oh, and before you ask. Yes, I did read your email… I just have not gotten around to answer it.

Episode 1: Quantum Computing for… Dummies?!?

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Olaf squinted at the text document. He tilted his head. Scratched it twice, and yawned.

Crap. No matter which way he approached the problem, it seemed like a mountain. One of those mountains, that looks like a molehill at a close distance, but you walk into like you would into Mount Everest. The problem being an article about decoherence in quantum computers.

Olaf tilted the swivel head on his LCD monitor. Nope, no idea. The window with an open document typed in OpenOffice stared back at him. How embarrasing, thought Olaf. I have done this before. He glanced at the clock. 22:00. Six more days at most. Crap, why the hell did I pick quantum computers as a project for the science writing course? Olaf smiled. Earlier this semester, he read one of his earlier edits to the class. The blank point-blank stares. The yawns. There he was. Facing the class, stressed by the thought of a barrage of complaints, bothered by the zombified expression of his classmates, and struggling with the words. Olaf realized later, that he was one of the few students who had some sort of science background. Dude, do you expect a bunch of English and Writing majors to grasp the complex concepts behind quantum mechanics, networks, digital cryptography and quantum computation in a single article and keep awake?!?

In the end, they liked it. With a bit of editing, the class liked his other articles. Only one last hurdle remained. “Its too long and too much information.” said one of his peers. I bet they suffered mental overload with that one. Olaf chuckled.

Six more days to the end of the semester. And nine more assignments. Olaf sighed. He stared at the screen. OpenOffice stared back at him. Olaf stuck out his tongue at the window. The program stared back at him.

“Screw this!” Olaf exclaimed. He already wasted most of the day on this one edit. All he really need was an half decent intro. Maybe he could reguriate an intro. Olaf smiled. He did just that.

Originally posted: Saturday, December 2, 2006 @ 18:51


Author’s Comment: That is how I felt rushed at the end of the semester. But will never forget reading my first professionally written piece infront of my writing class. I was surprised by how well received it was. And the compliment from my classmates. They understood everything I wanted to explain. Its was like hitting them over the head with a textbook in terms of the amount of facts and my boring narration. The professor, Guy Allen, who read an earlier, crude edit was also amazed how much I progressed. For the rest of the semester, I just kept on raising the bar for myself. And stressing out about it. 😉

Oh to my fellow classmates, forgive the comment of “overloading”. You guys taught this stuck-up science student more about exciting scientific writing, then almost anyone else. Except Guy, who we all agree is like a god in writing. 😉 I love you guys.

A Requiem for a Blog

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Introducing the One-Time Trash Pad

Greetings victim err… I mean reader.

You stumbled across this strange journal, about the life of a frustrated writer. It mildly resembles my own life. But only superficially. So if its not about me, then why does it exist?

The journal serves two purposes. Firstly, I get to throw around angst, frustration and stress, which is great when I get writer’s block. The second and inadvertent purpose is to assume you, with random humour.

Enough already with the introductions. I find formalities stuffy. Anyways, enjoy the ride. If that is ok… ok with you… that is… ok sir? Or is it ma’am? Kind of hard to make out your face, especially if I never actually see it.

Posted on: Saturday, December 2, 2006 @ 18:41

And thats how in my madness one December evening, I started a new blog. The idea of the blog, was to spend my irritation before editing my final pieces for my Science and Writing course. I picked quantum computers for my project of seven articles. In hindsight I should of picked something that would not have boiled my brains so often. So I wrote a number of crazy posts about me writing, as an antidote.

The One-Time Trash Pad was supposed to be a cooperative writing project. The name comes as a joke about digital cryptography. The blog resembles a one-time pad… but it is really just trash my brain threw together. Just it is nice readable trash.

Unfortunately, the project is dead, and I will close down the blog in a few days.
No one wanted to contribute, and I don’t have time to write two blogs. Before I close down that site, I want to post my work on this blog. So don’t be surprised by the apparent randomness. Its all part of the scheduled program.

That said… viva la blog! The one-time trash pad et morte!

Home Again, Home Again…

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Back in sunny, and fortunately not scorching-hot Toronto. Actually, I flew in on Wednesday but I need about two days to unpack, clean up and readjust. Everything around the house is still in various levels of disorganization, disaster and chaos. So nothing much changed since I left, at least around here.

Anyways, currently I am employed at home cleaning up. Hopefully in the evening I will start my job hunt. A slightly daunting task to say the least, but I need to get off my lazy bum and start earning some money. After all the 8 hours transatlantic flight allowed me to come with a shopping list of things I need… and want. The vacation gave me many things to think about. But I do not feel comfortable listing out all my personal thoughts here. I already posted too much information about myself thats floating around the web.

One thing that I want to start up again, are all the open source projects I left off. Also I need to start writing again, but this time for actual publication. There is so much I want to do. Sigh. Where should I start? Maybe a round of UT2004, and then I will take it from there.

Travel-o-mania

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Okay today was catch up day. Too tired to write much. Too much planning of the trip, and getting the front yard done. More stuff tomorrow, promise. Maybe.

At least I finished editing the Style Guide for the justCheckers project. Also played a bit of World of Padman and S.T.A.L.K.E.R., both are quite fun and impressive in their own right. But I will not write a review of World of Padman, until I have the time to play around with it more. Whenever that will happen.

Goodnight.

The Plague (Part 2): Repulse

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More late breaking news from the quarantine zone at home. My brother managed to infect both my father and me. Fortunately I seem to got it easy. After a super-tiring day with a headache, frozen limbs (thanks to the combined efforts of two bus transit systems), starvation and a light-headedness, I got up this morning more or less refreshed and feeling better.

Yesterday’s day-off comes at a bad time for me. University work in writing, cryptography, radio and ethics classes all need attending to. The writing needs interviews and work. Cryptography and ethics requires research and write-ups. And the radio class has a proposal due today.

So much for easy non-rushed living. And my projects just went on hold again. Nothing like a cocktail of illness, university and transportation all conspiring to put everything except the urgent on hold.

Adjusting to Easy Schedule

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I am not good at adjustments. The switch from a super-busy, near-hyper-kinetic schedule to a “normal” lighter schedule keeps on throwing me off. Hence the lack of updates since Friday.

Yesterday was the great chill day. Today was the great after-chill day. Meaning, I did not get too much done when it comes to assignments or studying. Anyone who follows the justCheckers project got lucky with the new daily updates (at least on the wiki). Everyone else… kind of lucked out. (At least you lucky denizen of the blogosphere get a neat treat today – 3 make-up posts. Why? Because I love you and enjoy having a regular audience.)

Still, I rejoice at the thought of the “evil” over-busy semester finishing. With the exception of three moderately difficult exams, a wack of writing for my writing portfolio and two assignment-papers, my goal of finishing a B. Sc. in Computer Science from the University of Toronto, just got a semester to completion. The very thought of finishing in April-May 2007, makes me euphoric. Now assuming that I pass every course this semester, only 4 more courses await me next semester.

I only worry about what I do after-university. People assure me, there is a life after university. I am not too sure. I guess I will need a job, to pay off my meagre debt. But kind of a job? Where can I work? Sure I do plan to work for myself one day, only I need money to bootstrap any sort of business. I would prefer to entire self-employment on my own terms, rather than “starving” myself into it.

So where should I work? Most jobs want some sort of work experience, something I lack in the professional sense. Take gaming firms like Valve, Apogee, id or EA: everyone wants an artist with a portfolio (but can I build one in less than 6 months?), a project developer (do you know that I never worked in let alone managed developing a commercial game?) or a programmer (does Java AWT count as graphics experience? No I don’t do OpenGL, at least not yet). How about NASA’s JPL? Would love to code rovers to race around on Mars, yet neither engineer nor US citizen I am not.

Realistically, I should contemplate working for IBM or Canonical (makers of Ubuntu). Man too little dreamy options (Valve), and too many risky (Canonical) or dirrery options (IBM, Microsoft *shivers*). So long as all effort does not land me a low paying sys admin or code monkey job.

Gee… I Feel like a Tree

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No I mean it. I feel like a tree, and everybody wants a piece of me. Turns out that for all my well made plans, all of my last assignments happen to be group endeavours. And even with my best laid plans, it seems that the meeting times for my groups coalesced into a single time.

Right now I am in a lull between work. And hoped that today would be the day I relaxed and finished my writing portfolio. Not the case. Right now I am working on a network security assignment, on standby for my business of computing group and trying to get some writing in. Oh and in about an hour and a half, I scheduled a meeting with my library assignment group. Bad idea.

If I can get one assignment done, from beginning to end today, I will be ecstatic. I fear this week will be the week of sleepless nights. So coding, writing, research and even more writing. I will be lucky if I don’t get RSI from all this typing.

And I remember a time when Sundays were considered days of rest and reflection. The good news is that the writing block is gone. Mostly.

Panic Supression and Firefighting

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Day 3 of Hell week #1.
At least the security assignment is out of the way. I wish I could say the same about the library research assignments. Moral of the story: Don’t take too many assignment/paper courses in one term, and verify that the courses assignments are before the frigging midterm comes. Well too late now.

Got back to writing/editing articles today. Writing free-form seems to give me a morale boost, whenever I do so. So does blogging apparently. Only 5 more classes, 10 more assignments (half of them from writing), 3 more exercises and 3 exams. Then a nice break, from school.

I wonder what I will do during the break. Working part-time definitely. Partying? If I am lucky. Maybe I will get some book writing or coding done. But first things first, assignments. With those out of the way, the panic and constant firefights will all go away.