I apologize for not posting anything yesterday. For once I could not write anything useful, incitiful or positive. So I decided not to write. Or rather my inaction made it so I didn’t.
Today is different. Emotions now ran their course. Tranquility.
This morning I decided to try something different. I bought a copy of Mirror’s Edge a while ago. However life and other things took precedence, while gaming took an aside. Also when I originally first started the game, I turned up the graphics. This reduced the performance and made the game less response and harder to play. An interesting level difficulty mechanic you say. Still I put off playing for a while.
Today I turned down the visual effects and graphics. And I started playing. Now I know why I fell in love at first sight with this game. Atmosphere. Ambience. While at first the screen effects seemed odd, once the action really started, it all made sense. I stopped being Dorian sitting in front of a laptop. I was Faith. A Runner in city just running, trying to survive as the odds stacked against. Running from the assaults of men chasing a girl whose only crime was her being there.
It is a beautiful story. And one that strikes accord with me. Everyday the city, the world I live in slowly slips ambilavence to an easy life. While men with evil intensions destroy civilization and society for their own selfish gain. And yet for all that I know, I can do very little. So I too run. And yet this reality is not a dream. It is real.
I went off-topic with my posts a while ago. You’re probably asking, “Dude, nice blogs where are the gamer posts?” Fair enough.
I’m no great shot in FPS matches. My aim often deviates from my target. And missing another player just gives them a reason to exact gruesome retribution, usually with an overpowered rocket or shower of plasma. So why don’t I leave after a few respawns, and call it quits? Why do I instead rush back into the largest battle in the arena?
Not because I’m addicted to gaming. Not because I’m an aggressive bastard. Nope. I’m self motivated. Faced with a problem or challenge, I try to surmount it. And persist in trying until success or the realization of futility sinks in. I challenge myself to get better. It makes for an exciting game and for a fulfilling life.
So here is a challenge for you: how self motivated are you? Take this test from MindTools.com I got a score of 44. What about you?
Its funny actually. I imagined that with work, I’d have more money and time to do the things I want. Money is not the issue after all. Time on the other hand, is the ultimate scarce resource. Hence I blog less than I want to.
Fortunately as I fall into the rhythm of work, free time seems to increase slowly again. However, somethings may fall to the wayside. Like gaming. Unfortunate, but necessary. Then again I always considered gaming as a philosophy and as a thing-to-do in case of everyone else in the world being too busy.
Its funny actually. The name of this blog… I hoped to examine the seamy underbelly of open source gaming. Yet, while my blogging schedule is unreliable as most readers know, I consistently do not talk about open source gaming. One of those inside jokes, that the great machine of the universe plays on us. Or rather that the maker of said machinery, enriches our lives with.
Its funny actually. I feel that I possess more freedom to do see friends. But that too many reveal itself an illusion. Perhaps. Perhaps…
OK. Must stop slacking off and get back to doing productive… err… stuff.
(And the answer is yes. I am trying to out-do one of my blogging friends, with all this stream of consciousness. Was I successful?)
Refactoring code and sending out resumes can get boring after a while. And while working inside of KDE 4 with all its prettiness and ease-of-use helps one be more productive… sometimes you need to be unproductive to be productive. Trust me it makes sense. Its like a zen koan or Ancient Greek paradox.
Thats where a fun game called War§ow comes into play. For gamers out there, its a cell-rendered Quake/Unreal Tournament arena-like based on surprise, surprise: the Quake 2 engine. A heavily modified Quake 2 engine but still looks great. For Ubuntu users, its already in the repositories: just grab warsow. For freedom crusaders (sorry LugRadio had to borrow that one), its free software under the GPL! But most of all its a fun, fun multiplayer FPS game for Linux.
Heres a pro-gamer match played on Warsow:
Okay today was catch up day. Too tired to write much. Too much planning of the trip, and getting the front yard done. More stuff tomorrow, promise. Maybe.
At least I finished editing the Style Guide for the justCheckers project. Also played a bit of World of Padman and S.T.A.L.K.E.R., both are quite fun and impressive in their own right. But I will not write a review of World of Padman, until I have the time to play around with it more. Whenever that will happen.
I need a change. A change from the mundane, ordinary and usual. Same goes for my blogging. I dedicate this blog for this point to documenting my thoughts about open source gaming. Most people might see this funny or even odd. The truth is that the open source movement has existed in gaming for a while, but no one thought of it as extraordinary.
I want to document the progress, history and future of open source, gaming and blending of both.
Hence, I am redesigning the website in the next few days. This redesign will retouch the appearance, articles and overall feel of the journal.