Just to Write

I feel as if this blog were a summer residence of sorts.  I do not live on it.  I do visit often or as often as I’d like to.  And when I do I first must dust the cobwebs, and vacuum the dust before I can do what I really want to.  What I really want to do is write.  Write and write with near abandon.  Just the shear joy of writing makes if worthwhile to write.  Just like this post.  This post is a creation of spontaneity and a love of the art.  Nothing more.  Nothing less.

Unfortunately, today like many days are filled with non-writing tasks.  Clearing the decks, organizing the mess of everyday, healing myself of this *ahem* nasty cold.  But how I yearn to write just like in the old days.  A keyboard on a strong wooden table, in sunlight or the light of a desktop lamp.  I know… what can I say… I am if not a romantic.

That is all.  I just wanted to share this with my readers.  That and the realization that I should spend less time dealing with the chores I am not interested with.  And spend more time doing things more beneficial to all.

I am also lucky to have met someone, who has helping me challenge my thoughts of what I do.  And to pursue the passions that I have.  I think I shall have to do just that.  One of those things is write more and worry less.  You can’t please everyone with your writing.  And you never will.  The moral of the story is to write about things important to you.  Enjoy the journey and do not worry if you please others.  I shall have to do just that.


This week I realized:

  • How little I really know about the important stuff: like faith.  There are so many knowledge to be gained in fields related to this.  (Thanks Marika for pointing that out to me with your questions.)
  • Hold on and act upon your ideals.  You can not please everyone.  But you will please the people who share your ideals and goals.  And you will gain respect from others for having the audacity to not cower or hand-wring when your ideals are questioned.
  • Love will find you some day.  It doesn’t come in convenient times or locations.  But wait and hold out for the best stuff.  (But have I?  Maybe or maybe not.)
  • Continued steady accumulation of something doesn’t mean it will accumlate in a linear fashion.
  • You must be in touch with both reality but also with ideas that define you.
  • The tortoise was right.  Working on anything in a steady continual pace achieves much more than quick bursts of anything.  (Remember my stone tortoise story?)
  • Treasure the time for rest.  Adequate acts as a better multiplier of what you get done, than working longer hours.  (To the discoverers of coffee beans, coffee and caffeine, thank you for helping those who broke their proper sleep cycles.)
  • If you think there is a better way of doing things, there probably is.  However the better may not be applicable to your situation for various reasons: lack of resources, restrictions et cetera.
  • Let things happen.  Don’t be disappointed when they don’t.  (Thanks Caroline for that insight.)

Sleepless in Toronto

It is  too early to blog this morning.  I’m sitting in at work in an empty office space.  Alone, just a few lights and mostly in the dark.  Still dark outside with some street lights, the slow moving lights of communter’s car and random distant lights of various colours.  The sun still has an hour or so to make an appearance.  The ever present hum of the server room, and my own typing on my laptop’s keyboard fill the silence.  A quiet time.  A time for reflection.

I spent the last few days in reflection, wondering about the future.  Many things have happened to me in the past while.  Good things mostly this year.  Not always things that I recognized or expected, at least not in their current shape and form.  But that is life: organic, uncertain, growing and unpredictable.  In mechanistic mind, the complexity of interactions and the nature of things make life appear chaotic.  Cause and effect and free will and randomness appear.  Surprise should not arise in my mind.  The universe, built upon the chaotic foundations of the quantum world attains regularity from its design and the laws that govern it.  Chaos only appears, because God built a universe where free will can and truly exists.  Causality only paints part of the picture.  This should make me happy, but it also brings indecision.  Causality enforces the consequences of my actions.  But the underlying chaos gives me the freedom to decide and choose my own actions at any given moment.

I realize that today, I stand in a bright and hopeful future.  A future I could not predict or imagine.  No one expected that I should live on the other side of the ocean, far from my family and far my ancestor’s homeland.  Or maybe homelands, since the fate of many nations and peoples form the history of humanity.  No one expected me meeting the friends that I have.  Not ideal people, but good people who help and guide me on my journey through life.  No one expected my working where I do.  I neither planned nor expected such a company existed.  Nor did I plan on working with such a group of friendly, ambitious and professional coworkers.  I definitely never planned nor wanted to work with people so closely, as I do as a consultant.  But over the course of my life, I grew into these situations and all these things shaped me as I do.

So why should the future to look different in nature?  How large of leap it should be not to expect love from an unexpected person from an unexpected land?  Will it be truly so?  Who knows, but God.  And even He lets us play with this toy, the universe  He fashioned  exclusively for us.  His judgement may be swift and fierce.  But His kindness toward such a clumbsy, silly and pathetic race of beings as humans are, is infinite.  And He comes to our aid when we need it.  But I am going on an aside.  I say this publicly, cause I intend not to offer up excuses or lay obstacles to this person.  And I’ll let fate, circumstances and nature run its course, whatever that course may be.  And whatever those effects may be.  I trust God will deliver the right person to me.

It is too early to write this morning.  I have spoken my mind, which my experience tells me most people don’t want to know or hear.  And I may not enjoy their critism or them turning from me.  But I’m not writing for them.  They do not care about me, and I’m less than enthaustic about them.  I write for the person who said yes, when so many others said no.  Even very interesting others, but as sad, as arbitray this decision may seem, they had their chance but chose not to act upon it.  Their loss.  And I turn my attention to this person, and say let us see what comes of this.

It is too early to write this morning.

Happy Saint Valentine’s Day

love.pngA special day deserves a special blog posting…

Today is NOT the day to feel in infatuated with sugar-candy like “lovey” emotions.  Today is also not a day for chocolates, flowers, hearts, and a crazy winged creature code named “Cupid”. It not also not a day to lust or for envy of not being with someone. No day in the year should ever evoke such emotions.

Today is a day where we should celebrate true love. The love of married couples and those who promised to marry each other. The love and affection that parents give to their children. The love that children shower their parents with. The love that springs forth from family. And most of all the love that God gives to all of humanity, his adopted children. Because without love, true love, the universe would be a cold, dark, and lifeless place.  Indeed neither it nor anything else would not exist. God loves you, always.

Happy Saint Valentine’s Day everyone!